Funny Travel Quotes

Working in the travel industry I am always looking for ways to laugh at myself and funny travel quotes to go along with it. So many of the quotes out on the market are inspirational and designed to give us that “Monday Motivation” vibe when we seek them out. I like to think that laughter is the best medicine, and so I gravitate towards humor.

I wanted to share some of my favorite funny travel quotes with you because I find them relate-able for most people. We often work so much and so hard we find funny travel quotes like this: “I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!” That in itself is both true and factual

So on that note, lets get to my favorite funny travel quotes! “It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!”

Funny Travel Quotes That Are Painfully True

Funny travel quotes that are too real.

“I’m a travel. addict on the road to recovery. JUST KIDDING! I’m on the road to the airport.”

“You weren’t born to just pay bills and die!”

“I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel brochure.”

“My parents complain I travel too much. I mean, I could be a drug addict, do they realize how lucky they are?” -Unknown

“A change in latitude would help my attitude.”

“Jet Lag is for Amateurs”

“The airport is a lawless place. 7 am? Drink a beer. Tired? Sleep on the floor. Hungry? Chips now cost 17$.”

“Good things come to those, who book flights.”

“Vacation calories don’t count.”

“There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation.”

“If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal.”– Paulo Coelho

“If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise.”

” I need a vacation of 6 months. Twice a year!”

“I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance.”

“There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you’re anxious to meet people who do.” –Rich Jeni

“I wish I was a postcard. For under 1.5€ you can travel the world to any location in the world.”

“I wish that road trips could pay my bills.” –Unknown

“I need vitamin SEA!”

“Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.”

“Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito.”

“Airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by moments of stark terror.” –Al Bolisk

“You can’t make everyone happy. You are not a plane ticket.”

“You can’t buy happiness but you can buy plane tickets, and that is kind of the same thing.”

“I’m not lost, I’m exploring.”

“I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about.” –Dave Barry

“Travel becomes a strategy for accumulating photographs.” –Susan Sontag

“No matter how many times I visit NYC, I am always struck by the same thing- a yellow taxicab.” –Scott Adams

“Tripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any travel trips currently booked.”

“When you come to a fork in the road…take it.” –Yogi Berra

“I feel like most of my problems could be solved with a trip to … anywhere.”

“Work tip: stand up. Stretch. Take a walk. Go to the airport. Get on a plane. Never return.”

“Running to the gate is my cardio.”

“If traveling was free, you’d never see me again.”

“Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.” –Mark Twain

“Me before vacation: I’m going to be responsible with my money. This is a low budget trip. I’m gonna stay in a hostel and everything. Me on vacation: *orders fancy drinks, rides a camel, goes skydiving, buys souvenirs for the uncle’s new girlfriend and adopts an alpaca.”

Funny travel quotes that are too real.

Funny Travel Quotes: Relationships

Lets be honest, traveling with people can go swimmingly well or horrifying. What better way to relive those moments than with funny travel quotes.

“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.” –Mark Twain

“I’ve got a crush on the world.”

“You can’t do epic shit with basic people.”

“If you don’t have a stupid travel story to tell, you did something terribly wrong!” -Unknown

“Imagine falling in love with someone and then finding out they clap their hands when the plane lands.”

“My mom watches a special type of news program that only reports on horrible incidents happening in places I’m about to visit.”

“Friends that travel together, stay together!”

“People having babies. And I’m like…what country am I going to next?”

“If you are waiting for someone to travel with you, you may end up waiting a lifetime!”

Funny Travel Quotes On Packing:

“Overpack. It’s why suitcases have wheels now.” –Unknown

“My favorite thing to pack on trips are all the clothes I never wear at home and then find fun, flirty and exciting ways to not wear them while I’m away.”

“Packs 2 hours before leaving for a trip. Unpacks 3 months after coming home.”

“Going on a trip. Need about 5 outfits. I’ve packed 35 just to be safe.”

“Me: I’m not going to overpack this time. Inner me: I need this. I will need that as well. I need everything.”

“I haven’t worn these pants since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case.”

“Normal life: Wears the same top every day for a week. Packing for 3-day vacation: I’ll probably change a few times a day so I’ll take 21 tops.”

“Me getting ready for vacation: manicure and pedicure, buy new Sephora products, spray tan, get waxed, get hair done, work out for a month, live off kale and veggies, try on 30K swimsuits and cry in dressing rooms. Husband getting ready for vacation: packs a bathing suit, flip-flops, a T-shirt, and calls it a day.”

“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?” –George Roberts

 

These are my favorite funny travel quotes. If you want to add any send me a message or leave a comment 🙂

 

 

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